So... much... stuff....

WOW~!

Just wow!

So I was going through other peoples blogs today.  It was really fun.  I commented on some, and skimmed through A LOT!  Some people are really boring, you know that?  But mainly I was looking around for the ways that people promote their blogs.  I mean, some of those people have a crazy amount of people reading their blogs.  I needed to know how.  Well, I figured it out, and after following instructions for...hmmm... eight hours or so, my eyes are starting to bleed.  *puts in eyedrops so I can continue*

So you will notice the addition of a few bars to the right.  Some of them are needed, some are not.  But since they are whoring me out or whatever, I thought it would be nice to do the same.  There is one in plain text saying something like "vote for this blog" or something.  You should definatly click on that one.  I can't remember why exactly, so follow the link, and check it out.  Hey!  Then you can put it on your blog and get hits off there, because... well just because.  I found some cool blogs through a lot of those sites.  When you get past the boring ones, you can read some really funny/amusing/sad/thought-provoking ones.  Excuse me  moment, my dog is yelling at me...

Ok, so where was I?  Moving on then, I guess. 

I was talking to an online buddy tonight/this morning.  I have told him more about my life than pretty much anyone else in the recent years.  Somehow we got onto blogs.  I am not sure if you are aware of this, but I have told no one about this blog.  I have not hinted to anyone I know, in real life or online, that I have a "private" blog.  Tonight I kind of blurred the line.  I told him I had a personal blog.  He asked me "Why blog if it's a secret.  Isn't a blog to share your thoughts ?"  I told him I just don't use names or anything to point to me, so I feel safe sharing anything I want.  He commented on how I never have seemed too shy to share anything.  I admitted that there were things I ommitted, and we got on the discussion about how we never always tell people the whole truth.  We always keep something hidden.  And he said it's probably best that way.  That we all have our secret gardens, filled with our fears and insecurities.  But he still had to ask me why.  Then I said something I thought sounded pretty damn smart.  I said "Some lessons learned as a child are hard to forget, no matter how hard you try." 

Which brings me back to my mother.  I wonder how different of a person I would be today if she was ever really a mother to me.  Would I be as confident as my outerself makes people believe I am?  Hell, who knows.  I could have been dead by now.  I mean, if I didn't pretend to be strong, confident, relaxed, as a child to keep my sisters fear-free, maybe I would be even less of a human being now.  I am dropping this subject now, because it only upsets me.  The "missed childhood" that I can never restore.

4:58 AM - Nov. 12, 2005 - post comment

self promotion...

I should probably do more in that area myself...I just haven't figured out how to do it yet. And I definitely don't want to ever sell ads...because otherwise people will think that I place things like poems or news articles on my website for ad dollars, and not because I genuinely love them or find them interesting.

Steve - 6:27 AM - Nov. 12, 2005

Full Disclosure Pause

I agree with you, SA...

It is not always safe to disclose everything to people you know. Because it might hurt somebody's feelings if they knew the complete truth about how you feel....

Steve - 6:31 AM - Nov. 12, 2005

Untitled Comment

Why are you still lamenting about the missed childhood and your mother?

Many of your own beliefs work for you for a certain period of your life. Many children at one time or another believe that their parents are omnipotent giving them a sense of security. Then in later adolescent years the same offspring are shocked to discover their parents to be quite human and fallible; the inadequacy and inferiority the older generations and the callousness of those in control of them.

The rebellious streak in them surface in their adulthood and they would believe that the older generations have “done everything wrong�. This is good for you as it frees you of the “childish concepts� and gives you the challenge to tackle personal and world problems.

If by forty, you still believe in the infallibility of your parents, then you hold that idea way beyond its advantages state for you. And by fifty you are still convinced that old people are rigid, growing senile, mentally incompetent and physically deteriorating then you are holding the “old belief� in the ineffectiveness the older generations and giving negative suggestions to yourself to fall into the same mould.

Similarly, a young mother may believe that her child is even more important than her husband. Initially this is positive as it would help her to pay more attention and protect the child. But if this concept is held on too long as the child grows older it becomes highly restrictive and eventually structured the woman’s entire adult life and make the husband becomes more wayward.

Anonymous - 10:51 AM - Nov. 12, 2005

Untitled Comment

Have you read my whole blog anonymous?
I don't think you have. I don't have any issues of my parents being perfect. I have seen the true them from too young. My problems DO steam from my mother and I have over 10 years of counseling to back it up. Granted she is not my ONLY problem, but she is why I am ME today. She is why I am INSANE and not more balanced. Raising your siblings from three years old is not a job for every kid in the world. Holy balls. I am running late for work.

anonymous - 5:26 PM - Nov. 12, 2005

Full Disclosure

I haven't told anyone about my blog either. Well, at least no one from my family and friends. I guess its easier to share a part of yourself to strangers, to people who will never know who you are because this way, even if they do make judgments, it won't really matter. Life would still go on.

Someone Not So Anonymous - 6:46 PM - Nov. 12, 2005

Untitled Comment

Hi :) Thanks for the comment on my blog! I've been reading yours and find you very interesting so I hope you don't mind me popping by from now on.

Moni
www.myscarletconclusion.blogspot.com

Anonymous - 10:35 PM - Nov. 12, 2005