ECT or ETC

Ok, so I am getting pissed off at this.  Be prepared for long rants that seem to go nowhere...

ECT = ElectroConvulsive Therapy.

ETC = ET Cetera.

Well, they aren't much different, are they?  YES THEY ARE!  Holy FUCK!  How hard is it to get the letters in the right order?  Do you not know what et cetera is?  Or maybe you are not aware of what etc. really means?  Stands for? 

And do not bother telling people if they spelt it wrong.  OH NO!  They will argue with you!  ECT means et cetera. 

NO IT DOES NOT!

This might seem really stupid for other people.  Hell, I spelt et cetera ect ONCE my whole life.  I was corrected, and never thought of it again... Until...  *duh duh duh*

I had ETC.  Yep, I had so many treatments I have no idea how many I had.  That whole time period is a huge blur for me.  I remember having an axiety attack on the table right before I was supposed to get a "treatment."  Needless to say(but I like to say anyway) I never had ECT that day, or anyday after that.

So here I will tell you highlights of my "therapy." 

Everytime single treatment I pissed myself.  No matter if I didn't have anything to drink or eat in 24 hours, no matter if I sat on the toliet for an hour before.  No matter anything.  I ALWAYS pissed myself.  Waking up from anesthesia, disorientated, being WET is no fun.

My jaw would ache for days after.  No amount of pain relivers(even naughty ones) would help the feeling that my skull was dislocated.  And the nausea.  Having anesthesia three times a week for a few weeks at a time is not fun.  Isn't it poison?  God, what have I done to my brain and body?

And my FAVORITE part...  Is the huge fucking BLACK HOLES I have in my memory now.  Here is where I try to sound smart and give you a cool computer-is-like-a-brain synonym thing.  You know how when you are trying to install a driver, how it always looks in that one place?  And if it's not there, you have to try to find it.  And when you click to browse, it goes back to the same place it just looked?  Yeah, that's my brain.  It keeps looking for the memories I know I have, where they should be, or used to be.  And they aren't there.  And my brain just does not get it.  So it freaks out a little, freezes a bit, then I need to ask help, ask someone what happened? when?.... 

My family and friends have gotten used to telling me about my past.  They bring up a Christmas/birthday/vacation and they always ask, "Do you remember that?"  When I say no, they fill me in.  Some of the stories I hear, I sound like a completely different person.  I can't imagine doing some of the things I did.  I was a drug dealer!  *shock*  What?  I jumped out of a moving car so it wouldn't drive on the ice, which is where I learned how to drive in the first place.  What?  Sometimes when I hear stuff that I did, I think I must have multiple personality disorder!  Then I remember I had ECT, and everything feels a little bit better for a time.

So remember girls, you don't have "popcorn, ice cream, movies, ElectroConvulsive Therapy...."  at your slumber parties.  You have "popcorn, ice cream, movies, etc...." at your slumber party.

Rember boys, you don't like to play "baseball, football, hockey, ElectroConvulsive Therapy..."  You like to play "baseball, football, hockey, etc...."

7:00 AM - Dec. 16, 2005 - post comment

oh hon...

I feel so sorry... :(

Steve - 9:24 AM - Dec. 16, 2005

Wow

You're fast. You commented between me posting, and adding a link and stuff into my blog.
I know what the times say, but they are wrong.
So you like the fun little thing down at the bottom there? Where is usually says done? I think it's cute. Kinda anoying though. I am not sure it's gunna last.
I added a link for my feed too. And I have a column for past renters now.
So I am so bored. Can you tell?

Edited by anonymous on Dec. 16, 2005 at 4:15 PM

- 10:10 AM - Dec. 16, 2005