Becoming Lovers

He is winning.  I am starting to crumble.

I went ice fishing with him.  I don't think that ice fishing is something I would do with a friend.  I think down in my subconscience I liked the thought of him taking care of me while we lived out in the wild.  But we don't live in the wild.  And I don't want to be with him.  He drives me crazy.  This is where I am going to break down his actions.

First off, the extended foreplay.  It keeps happening, and he totally did ALL of the work today.  I basically layed there the whole time.  This is not a good sign.

He is coming over a lot, and he is wanting sex more than once a week.  We agreed on once a week.  I see this as he is gettting a dependancy.  On me, on the sex, the lack of effort, or whatever.

He is trying to have sex with me in more places than just the bedroom.  He wants me to take showers with him, etc.  This tells me he is willing to move it out from behind curtains. 

When we go out, to eat or whatever, he will touch me at random.  He will poke me, or elbow me, or brush arms.  And when he is not close enough for that, he will play footsie with me.  I do not encourage this.

He picks on me as if we were in the 7th grade.  Stupid stuff.  Drives me nuts.

He tries to include me in on everything, even if I don't want to go.  Not saying he would push me to go, but he lets me know that he would like it if I go.

He comes over a lot unannounced.  I will never call his house.  But now he never calls me before he shows up.  He expects me to be here.  Again, not that he would be mad if he came over and I had plans. 

That's all I can remember right now.  I will add more as I think of them.  I doubt he is coming over today, but I can't say for sure that he isn't.  I am so not going to have sex with him today.  It will take all my power.  But I have to get through it.  I can not keep doing this to him or myself.  I am thinking about shaking him, yelling at him, telling him there is never going to be an us.

Here is a secret though...  I like him coming over so much.

8:48 AM - Jan. 17, 2006 - post comment

Untitled Comment

u like him coming over... yet you dun like how things are going... hmmm... seems like u r confused... like u r...

well, i always believe when people tell me... never say never.

adriantai - 10:15 AM - Jan. 17, 2006

Cant acess

i cant access your website yesterday....- jencaalim. I missed shouting with u at SB...

Anonymous - 10:19 AM - Jan. 17, 2006

so whats the real score?

do u feel that he is inlove with u? or just enjoying the pleasure u gave??? - jencaalim

Anonymous - 10:23 AM - Jan. 17, 2006

Untitled Comment

Thanks guys. That was some fast commenting.

I think he likes me. More then a friend. I do not think it's love. I think he enjoys all the comforts I can give him.

I am confused. I think if anyone came over all the time, drove 45 minutes to get to my house, I would like them around too.

I can't remember what else I was going to say.

-SA

anonymous - 12:47 PM - Jan. 17, 2006

Good

This is Steve, Coast2Coast from BE.

We haven't talked so much lately, but I wanted to let you know that I am glad you have someone you are excited about!

Anonymous - 2:58 PM - Jan. 18, 2006

No "us?"

If a guy is coming over to your house often, and you're fooling around, and going out, and having sex at least once a week, here's a flash: there already IS an "us." Just not one you want. So you have a choice. Get tangled deeper and deeper in a relationship you don't want to be in, or cut it off. There isn't a third choice.

Anonymous - 8:03 PM - Jan. 19, 2006

Untitled Comment

utterly confused. but i do think there is love involved here, quite deeply.

amyth - 8:59 AM - Jan. 20, 2006