Ice Fishing

I am tired.  More tired than usual.  Getting up at 5 am, and spending hours on the ice is hard.  Makes me cold, and tired, really tired.

Haven't gotten laid in a week.  A week today.  I fell alseep on FWB last night.  I think he went home.  I am not too sure since I passed the fuck out.  It's time to move on.  I am not going to have sex with him anymore.  I feel pressured into being more with him.  I caught myself thinking about how beautiful his eyes are yesterday.  I wish I had the courage to talk to him about it.  I wonder if he just takes it for granted that we are more than friends.  He introduced me to more of his friends yesterday.  I was surprized how cool they were.  After we left, I found out that their son had killed himself about a year ago!

I was like, "Wow, they are doing pretty good for it only being a year ago."  FWB was like, "What?!?!  A year is a long time.  They shouldn't be having problems yet."  And I was all like, "What the fuck?!?!  They lost their CHILD, someone who was with them for 15 years!  Someone that CAME from them, someone that was APART of them.  If I was them, I would still be greiving."  FWB said "We have all lost someone by now."  I told him he was an idiot.

Does everyone know I tried to quit smoking weed?  Yeah, it's not working to well.  I got through one day without smoking.  The next day was killer.  So I took like 3 hits the whole day, spaced apart, since cold turkey wasn't going to work.  Then the next day was like 2 hits, then I went to a poker party, where drugs ran rampant.  I got so fried.  But I ended up winning the pot, so I was happy.  It was only $12.50 cuz we split it, and then I had to give someone ten bucks to give me a ride home.  So I came away with an extra pack of cigs.  Yay!  Then I went ice fishing, where drugs also run, and I don't recall yesterday so much.  Oh well.

I am going to throw this up on my blog now.  I will update more later.  Just figured someone was going to yell at me for not updating lately.

1:37 PM - Jan. 23, 2006 - post comment

I agree with you...

One year is not a long time....
You never "get over" the loss of your child.
You think about your child every single day.

Steve - 4:57 AM - Jan. 24, 2006

You might want to listen to

Scorpio Rising by Death From Vegas
Farmhouse and heavy Things by Phish

Warchild - 7:33 PM - Jan. 24, 2006