I Dreamt of Him

I just woke up from a nap.  It was an accidental nap.  I was reading my book, next thing I know I was kissing FWB.  In my dream I mean.

That's right, I was just dreaming about kissing my FWB, on the mouth, with tongues and all.

It must of been the book.  It has some romantic stuff in it.  FWB came over today, saw my sister here, acted all bussiness like, used his PC for a little bit, and left.  It was strange.  I'm dreaming about kissing him and he is all, fix my computer.

OH!!!!  And guess who called while I was sleeping and dreaming about FWB?  SI!!!  I am so mad I didn't talk to him.  I could puke.  I want to taste him all over.  I want it now.  I wanna feel his weight ontop of me.  I wanna touch every inch of his body.  Smell him.

I have been so thirsty lately.  My house is so dry.  I have water all over the place, on the heater, but still I wake up with a bloody nose.   Someone wanna buy me a humidifier?

I was crabby today.  I think I am going through withdrawl from weed.  I'm so snappy.  I can't help it. 

Time to let the dogs out.....

10:27 PM - Jan. 19, 2006 - comments {2} - post comment

Art

So I finally broke down and drew on my graphics tablet.  Lewis was the first to be on it, but now the people inside my head have come out to play...

This picture I am going to have on my new template.  I think she is cool.

Next we have red here, and I don't like her as much.

And this is just a quick sketch.  Bald is beautiful.

I think I might have to resize that!

EDIT:  Resized!

5:29 AM - Jan. 18, 2006 - comments {1} - post comment

Lots of Posts Today...

It might seem like a lot, but this is the third time I have been awake on this day.  It is never ending.  The day that kept going. 

I tried to quit smoking today.  The first person to come over today was jumped, patted down, and cigs were stolen, by me of course.  They did not smoke menthols, so the second person to come over was also jumped, stripped, and tortured for some menthol cigs.  I hate this addiction.  I felt the withdrawl in my gut, my legs.  The funniest thing about whenever I try to quit smoking is that I will be in the bathroom for most of the time.  Seems to me the nicotene does something to my insides and when I don't have it, it wrecks havoc!  Maybe tomorrow...

Besides me being in the bathroom, my sister was in there puking her guts out this morning.  It makes me so happy.  See, she has been staying at my house for a couple weeks because her water pump broke, so she has no water at her house.  And she is going to be puking a lot.  Because... duh duh duh...  I am going to be an aunt!  I am so excited. 

Over a year ago, she lost her first baby.  The fact that she got pregnant was a surprize to us all.  I can not have kids, my other sister can not have kids.  Made sense that she wouldn't be able to, but she did it.  I guess it didn't surprize us much that she lost the first one.  That's really sad to say, but everyone was crushed.  MY parents had three girls, and we are all well into our 20s and they still don't have grandkids.  I think my mom thought I was going to be a teenage parent.  Anyway, she has not told anyone about it yet.  She doesn't want people to know until she is past when she lost the other one.  I guess she lost it really late, like it shouldn't of happened so late in her pregnancy.  I don't know much about it, it's a touchy topic.  So she pukes in my toliet every morning.  It makes me want to puke, but the thought of a little baby, being so close, not being mine, someone I can love, and teach, and mold, it makes me happy.  Even though I am not it's mother, and I am not responsible about anything, I really want to be apart of this kids life.  I want to show it all my mother could not give to me.  I think she wants me to be like a nanny.  When she fixes her well, maybe she will have me move in with her.  That would be nice.  I have like 7 months to wait for a little cool bundle of joy that will have her mothers beautiful eyes, and hopefully none of her attitude.

Reminder!!!  My birthday is coming up.  January 30th.  I will be 26.  I am now accepting gifts.  I accept monitary donations also.  I am so broke and have no money to go out on my birthday.  That's so sad.

Also, if you have any baby crap you want to throw out or give away, I will gladly accept it!  My sister is freshly divorced, pregnant, with no running water at her house, and her truck is falling apart as we speak.  Her house payment is through the roof and she can't sell it without running water.  She needs to get a loan for the new well, and well, frankly, she can't afford it.  When the gas prices were so high, she had to put a lot of her gas on her credit cards just to be able to drive to work.  Ok, I am done with my sob story now. 

Remeber kids!  Take what you want, and leave the rest.  If something bothers you, let it go.  No reason to get worked up over anything here.  Thanks!

11:00 PM - Jan. 17, 2006 - comments {3} - post comment

Orange Haired Boy

If you don't know Lewis, you should go check him out here, at OrangeHairedBoy.com.  He hasn't been updating much lately because he is busy, doing stuff, I think.  But go read his past posts.  Somewhere in there is a picture I STOLE because I was drawing everyone in the Shoutbox over at Blog Explosion a bunch of Fridays ago.  I finally did it on my PC, and you can see it here....

So yeah.  My hand is sore from using the pen, so I am using my mouse right now.  God I hate it now that I have been using my pen for months.  Anyway, maybe this will get back to Lewis.  Maybe not.  I don't mind either way.

12:34 PM - Jan. 17, 2006 - comments {2} - post comment

Becoming Lovers

He is winning.  I am starting to crumble.

I went ice fishing with him.  I don't think that ice fishing is something I would do with a friend.  I think down in my subconscience I liked the thought of him taking care of me while we lived out in the wild.  But we don't live in the wild.  And I don't want to be with him.  He drives me crazy.  This is where I am going to break down his actions.

First off, the extended foreplay.  It keeps happening, and he totally did ALL of the work today.  I basically layed there the whole time.  This is not a good sign.

He is coming over a lot, and he is wanting sex more than once a week.  We agreed on once a week.  I see this as he is gettting a dependancy.  On me, on the sex, the lack of effort, or whatever.

He is trying to have sex with me in more places than just the bedroom.  He wants me to take showers with him, etc.  This tells me he is willing to move it out from behind curtains. 

When we go out, to eat or whatever, he will touch me at random.  He will poke me, or elbow me, or brush arms.  And when he is not close enough for that, he will play footsie with me.  I do not encourage this.

He picks on me as if we were in the 7th grade.  Stupid stuff.  Drives me nuts.

He tries to include me in on everything, even if I don't want to go.  Not saying he would push me to go, but he lets me know that he would like it if I go.

He comes over a lot unannounced.  I will never call his house.  But now he never calls me before he shows up.  He expects me to be here.  Again, not that he would be mad if he came over and I had plans. 

That's all I can remember right now.  I will add more as I think of them.  I doubt he is coming over today, but I can't say for sure that he isn't.  I am so not going to have sex with him today.  It will take all my power.  But I have to get through it.  I can not keep doing this to him or myself.  I am thinking about shaking him, yelling at him, telling him there is never going to be an us.

Here is a secret though...  I like him coming over so much.

8:48 AM - Jan. 17, 2006 - comments {7} - post comment